It’s been a while; I’ve finished my exams, I went on holiday to Singapore and have come back refreshed and motivated to continue writing. During my time off I did a great deal of meditation, reflection and cultivated my ideas. I came to a realisation that you are stronger than you think you are.
Now I know how exhausting having a mental illness is. I know how hard it is to tell everyone you’re fine when you’re not fine. Trying to be ‘normal’ by pretending that everything is great and that there is nothing to worry about. How much energy does it consume? I remember times getting home from a long day and retreating back to how I was really feeling; alone, lost and depressed. And the knowledge that I’d have to wake up the next day and put a brave face on scared the hell out of me. I was uncertain as to whether I could make it another day, I was so angry and frustrated that I couldn’t feel positive emotions. I felt weak.
But now I see that I wasn’t weak, I was the exact opposite. I was so tired and worn down because I was being strong every single day. Despite being depressed, feeling worthless and genuine resentment and guilt towards myself I would get out of bed and start my day. I would go to school, play my sport, do my homework and socialise with my friends despite this negative cloud following me waiting for me to let down my guard. And guess what, I’m just a human like you, yes you, reading this right now.
So don’t stop fighting, even when you feel like there’s no way out. Put your head down, grit your teeth and don’t give in. This life is worth living, and maybe you haven’t found your reason or purpose or sense of meaning yet but that’s ok. You must listen to what the universe is telling you, nature has a way of directing itself (we are nature) to favour those who are willing to listen.
It can seem extremely overwhelming at times; like you’re about to burst into a million pieces or that you have completely lost control, that’s ok too, break down your thoughts and don’t live too far from the present moment. No good has come from reliving regrets over and over, or freaking yourself out thinking about what’s yet to come. Try and live day to day, or if you really want to experience reality live moment to moment, appreciate the little things and don’t take it too seriously.
Now think about everything you’ve gone through, all the sleepless nights, all the heartbreak, and all the frustrating exhaustion. All things considered you’re still here, and have earned the right to be here for being so incredibly strong and resilient. You’re special because you’re stronger than most. Connect with the real you.
Follow @psych_inspire for tips on managing your mind.
From the ashes, you will rise.
Liam